Showing posts with label U.S. Highway 59. Show all posts
Showing posts with label U.S. Highway 59. Show all posts

Friday, September 10, 2010

Off the Grid



turning, a face in the wind:
as if there was nothing left
that the earth could hold,
no need or want that
couldn’t be found some
place else, some sky:  far.

-----
we meet here, daily
it seems you wait for
me around this corner,
near the tracks, near
fields that rise & then,
again, fall—or, rather,
are taken down:   cut
short,   like a life that
served & in going gave

["Off the Grid #1" US-59 Spring 2010]
where were you this
morning when I looked
to the lines for your
sign & found nothing
but someone else’s
power surging into
morning light?

-----
this too is a made place:
dreamscape, without
grid or track or high-
way, no need for
wheel or wing, but
only mind, eye, &
sleep: here, where
 irregular is nothing,  
we travel together,
flitting, fleeting,  &
until all has flown.

when I wake, will
it be unmade, dis-
integrated, lost?

will I be permitted
a return?

-----

there is little left
to say that hasn’t
crossed a line
somewhere, or
that a mind won’t
soon send across
space to rebound
near me as a
figure of glittering
text: moveable,
removable, &
mostly un-noticed.

there is nothing
new under the
sun, but your
wings as they
gather upwards
& away: allowing
shadow to reach
across the span
of your farthest
points, between
you & I, between
acceptance & need.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A Two-fer

I.

The future is behind me...

The pulley season is mostly over, the moon is down too soon & the sun peeks up too early to push & pull one another into summer. It's a spring game they play to cut the cold and bring down the pounding rains.

Heading west from town, most often my family still snug in their beds (and if they aren't I stick around there way too long to watch the moon drop or sun leap), I get a view in my rearview mirror of the sun at its most orange, visible & still viewable with the naked eye as it rises up out of trees, or bluff, or in this case Highway 59.

It's funny to me that the sun rises at my back as I drive away. I am no hero riding off into the sunset but some silly pilgrim driving away from the sun & the ones I care about most. 

Today I stopped and took the picture. It isn't well composed (and neither is this description) but it chronicles one of the strange symbolic phenomena of being a commuter who notices things and is just silly enough to try and embed them with significance. It's kind of a curse.  

II.

Let's play three...

I've been sitting here grading final exams. My iPod has been playing background music. Mostly I haven't paid attention to it. However, three songs penetrated the single-minded concentration it takes to conquer the last days of grading. Here they are.

(I'm saving the best for last even though it played first.)

Enjoy:




Oh, it is worth saying that all three of these tunes were first played for me by the same fine person with an ear for great music: the one and only Jeff K.

Thanks, Jeff. Now I am going to drive home too fast listening to "Four Night Rider" over & over & over & over...

Here goes: [Settings: Repeat: One]

Monday, May 10, 2010

Hope: "Il faut cultiver leur jardin"



Mid-Spring, the lilacs are bred, the rains come, the garden planned or planted. Summer is quick in the mind, the heart fluttering or hiding, preparing for the heat & humidity of Summer's inevitable drought & sudden storms.

But this is still Spring; weather is unpredictable and intermittently beautiful & unforgiving, as a Friday's flag, at half staff, semiotically suggested, making a whiplash turn from soft west to hard south.

That means the home stretch was mostly in head wind.

At the far end of the familiar farm pond, the elusive, saintly heron sat, again, watching my car slow to a stop on the gravel of a siding, but she didn't wait through my mad dash across the almost empty highway. Sensing the threat of being captured and over-pixelated, she flew--west & far & out of sight.

But the real gift was back on the other side of the car: neat, new green rows showing Summer's early work has already begun.

Beyond the beauty of the view, and that beauty was significant to bring me some measure of happiness not only for the weekend, one that would celebrate mothers and children, but to remind me that the hopefulness of Spring is always linked to the hard work of Summer.

Hope & happiness are never far from one another. But what we forget is the labor that it takes to keep the landscape free from obstruction and unavoidable ugliness. This was the lesson that these new rows taught me that a low-flying great blue bird did not.

There is a limit to vision, but still we squint our eyes and look. Hope takes work; it’s time to get our hands dirty.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Morning Fog, U.S. Highway 59

















In the morning, before the sun is high and hot enough to burn away earth's excess water, I slide my way south, following the bends of the road, watching the curvature of the eastern horizon as the orange disk slowly ascends allowing day to ease me out of my temporary monasticism and back into a world of needs & gives.




Mornings when the fog hovers the road & ponds & puddles, I am reminded of the final stanza of Poe's early poem, "Spirits of the Dead". Before his twentieth birthday Poe penned these words:

The breeze, the breath of God, is still,
And the mist upon the hill
Shadowy, shadowy, yet unbroken,
Is a symbol and a token.
How it hangs upon the trees,
A mystery of mysteries!


These lines have always haunted me, as does this particular farm pond, sunk down below a dead end road that leads somewhere that will never be known. This morning I could not drive past without stopping to capture the haunting mist before it disappeared into its own mysteriousness. 






Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Birds (Three Stories)

Bird # 1: Clare's Hawk


The adjacent image is a selection from the text, The Poetry of Earth, New York: Atheneum Press, 1966. This selection pictured here (click to open larger copy) is from the "Nature Notes" of 19th century, rural English (no, not Irish) poet John Clare. Clare's first book of poems, Poems Descriptive of Rural Life and Scenery, was published in 1920 by John Taylor, also a publisher of Keats. An article and readings of one of his most remembered poems, "I Am" can be found at The Atlantic's Soundings page. More Clare poems can be found at The Poetry Foundation including one of my favorites, "The Skylark." Sadly, Clare spent the last twenty years of his life in an asylum, which was the location of his death in 1864.


Clare's "Nature Notes" (to my knowledge and the aid of Jonathan Bate's biography of Clare) were from his personal journal around the year 1824. In this passage from the journal, which contains little punctuation, variant spellings, and the grammar of rural speech, Clare tells the story of a particular hawk that he describes saying: "not quite so large as the sparrow hawk their wings & back feathers was of a red brown color sheathed wi black their tails was long & barred with black & their breasts was of a lighter color & spotted their eyes was large & of a dark piercing blue their beaks was very much hooked with a sharp projecting swell in the top mandible ..." Clare's striking description of the birds is interesting in both its knowledgible birder's detail and its awkward, almost manic, syntax.  


However, what is most interesting in this passage from the journals is what comes next:




Clare's depiction of the relationship between the hawk and himself is quite compelling in that the hawk is both interested in and seemingly wary of Clare, in the end both are for good reason: Clare is exceedingly kind to the bird and yet it is the friendship with Clare that leads to the bird's demise. One can see in passages such as the above evidence of both Clare's potential as a different sort of English Romantic poet and his eventual mental disintegration and ultimate committing to an asylum.
________________

Bird # 2: St. Benedict's Raven

According to St. Gregory's Dialogues, Book II, Italian monk, later to be known as St. Benedict, writer of The Rule of St. Benedict, a raven that frequented the cave where Benedict lived, was charged by Benedict to remove a loaf of poisoned bread and take it "where it cannot be found." Eventually the bird did as he was told and returned. There is another story in which the bird rids the cave of a chalice of poisoned wine. Here again, a bird and an eccentric man are friendly and  engaged in a form of communication--and in both cases these hermetic men leave a written legacy behind them after their cloistered deaths.

________________

Bird # 3: Dad?

My father was an amateur birder, very amateur. In fact, actually, he liked looking at birds, owned binoculars (I now own them), and several bird-books (those are mine now too). He never went on outings, took notes, or did extensive research, but he passed on to me a real respect and interest in the feathered flyers of our neighborhood. In fact, just today during dinner I located our neighbor, a still-red male cardinal perched in one of the highest branches of the tallest tree in our back yard. I took a picture and made my oldest son look for him too; he found him more quickly than I thought he would. 

I do this a lot: look for birds. 

My dad died, fairly young (63), in 1995. I have been looking for him ever since: in dreams, in pictures, in letters, in hidden manuscripts in desk drawers ( I did find one once.). But mostly in birds. Interestingly, since January, I have had several interesting bird related experiences, three of which have involved bald eagles that are currently nesting North of Lawrence. 

The first had just captured a meal on the east side of 59 highway and allowed me to pull my car to the side of the road and watch him secure the prey, spread his wings, and fly, low above a still snow-glazed stubblefield before rising quickly to a perch in a far cottonwood. 

The second eagle was noticed by one of my creative writing students during class one afternoon flying circles above Lawrence High School, a very odd and rare sight that far into town. 

The third experience was a couple of weeks ago on my morning commute, again on 59 highway, heading south towards Lawrence and the eagle swooped across in front of my car and behind me, slowly gliding as I pulled the car over and turned around to follow him. He landed in a bare maple on the east side of the highway. There was a convenient farmers drive-in that allowed me to pull my car in off the highway and watch him sitting there in the tree, the still-winter sun rising, nearly white, behind the tree and above the pasture that stretched for miles to that place on the horizon where, eventually my two rivers (The Missouri and the Kaw) finally meet.


Though I spend a lot of time, alone, in my movable cell of a car, I am no eccentric, ascetic monk, and I have most of my sanity, most agree, but there is something about the continual connection that I feel with these birds that seems to to suggest that their closeness to me is important. That they carry some meaning or message that might just be the same thing that Clare and Benedict found in their birds and that I am always looking for in little legacies my father left behind. 

Maybe I am little more crazy that I give myself credit for. For now, I'm not too afraid, and I'm going to keep reading the bird signs that flutter and fly my way.



Monday, March 29, 2010

Atchison to Lawrence to Atchison

I drive. 

U.S. Highway 59. 

Five days a week, except for two weeks in December and all of June and July. 

Fifty-two miles each way and all four directions. 

Often in the dark; in some seasons, both ways.

If I'm running late, the flame engulfs my kitchen picture window, the College, St. Benedict's Church, and the Missouri River bluff in the distance.

Many mornings, a red ball in my windshield: the sun rising over the invisible Kaw River North of Lawrence. 

In Spring and Fall, moon and sun play pulley: tugging at each other: rise, set, an exercise in perspective.

I drive alone, but I am often visited: birds, the usual suspects, but occasionally a heron, a sparrow-hawk, red tail hawks, red winged blackbirds, white necked geese, bald eagles (three this year alone), days ago, a pheasant met its end on my passenger side headlight, once a meadowlark sat on barbed wire, the turkeys stand and hop and the turkey buzzards swirl and sway, and the trusty cardinals--always near; deer (including the athletic one that took out my side mirror and leapt away unharmed; coyotes (I keep a count); skunks (always dead but for their lasting revenge); the numerous farm dogs, cattle, goats, horses (an abundance of horses this time of year) and all the rest I keep an eye out for.

I drive. I think, look, listen, pray, occasionally losing it to grief, exhaustion, joy, anger, excitement, doubt or fear.

Always heading one way or the other.