Awake, Alone

I fill rooms with imagined friends
& am often alone within the loud, surrounding crowd.
I have searched the mirror for a recognizable face
& the window for a trace of ghosts redressed as birds.

I've climbed predictable heights,
found myself lost in familiar halls,
run far away in hope I'd never catch a glimpse of the damage left behind,
but find forgetfulness faster even than memory spinning out new, old songs.
I'm first to recognize that humility lies,
& last to find truth within my doubt,
but tonight I'm in love with the sound of a sleeping house.

I scan the quiet pre-midnight for the shuffle of dreaming dear ones,
allow the pulsing of four hearts to harmonize,
the chests' gentle fall & rise: a body tide
whose gravity rides me through what might have been a lonely night.
Let this night's song remain until these eyes close,
& let this not be the last night that alone feels so much like shared time.